Everyone tries to claim Bono as "nothing to do with any of us"...

For over twenty years now every single interview ever conducted on planet Earth - no matter what the subjective content or journalistic bias - has contained reference to "distancing oneself" from U2 front man Bono. People from across all walks of life have found the one topic on which there is universal agreement.

Stalin and Hitler were believed to have shared a harmonious and pleasant coffee date in Berlin, full of agreement about their shared hatred of Bono. Communist China and capitalist America both have demeaning nude statues of Bono in their nation's capitals along with the placard "Wanker" which attract millions of tourists from all over the globe.    

Whether talking about music, global economics, environment, scientific research or simply a WI committee member talking about a local bake-sale, every interview has contain a passing quote "denying" the validity of the Irish U2 singer.

"Bono is definitely NOT Irish"

Irish PM Edna Kenny told anyone who would listen "I have personally revoked his Irish passport, so I can confirm that just like John Lennon and the other Beatles, Bono is NOT Irish, we don't want him and we urge every nation to do the same."
Even when opening a Birmingham hospital ward, HRH Queen Elizabeth momentarily veered off-topic to declare him a "prick" to gathered BBC journalists.

"I now declare this ward open.....and Bono a prick!"

Irish people have vehemently denied he is Irish. Singer's have denied he is a singer. Millions of starving African's have stated they'd rather starve than take any charity that could be proved to be associated with Bono stating "It'd just be too embarrassing and damaging for our reputations to accept anything from that smug, faced tax dodging scum."  

Scientists and linguistic experts are working twenty-four hour rolling shifts in order to keep up with the ever increasing demand for inventive new ways and words with which to call Bono a "cunt" as existing linguistics just don't have the depth of scope required to reflect global opinions of hatred.

Media giants Apple and Google have both promised to include apps that comes pre-loaded into their operating systems with a fresh abusive insult to forward directly to the singer's email account every day in an attempt to both boost sales, and give the people of the world access to the one thing that binds us all together as human beings. Well, all of us except one....

http://www.nme.com/news/the-beatles/87231