A heart warming seasonal story...

Many days and weeks ago, in the small Cornish coastal paradise of Porthtowan, myself and a few friends gathered together at the Unicorn public house to play some music to the demoralised local populace. Living in such a remote location as Porthtowan - where the damaging effects of the 1970's cod wars are still strongly felt - many people in the village hadn't heard live music in up to three or four days and their appetites were salacious. Hoards had gathered to welcome us to the Unicorn - itself named after a rarely seen beast - and much merriment and happiness ensued for all. It was a glorious night. Why I left the venue later that evening thinking ..."If only someone had taken a live audio recording of our musical antics tonight"...

Imagine my surprise, many days and weeks later to discover that someone had indeed taken an audio recording (warts and all) of many of the songs played that fateful night in Porthtowan. So here gathered together for the first and no doubt only time is that collection of songs. It's called Unicornicopia, and you can listen and download it entirely for free here and take a feint whiff of the magical atmosphere that was created that night...

Fuck you Chico time...

Over the past few years I have accumulated a modest little collection of home recordings of songs that I have written to alleviate the overwhelming feelings of under-achievement that I have to live with daily. If I was Prince, this would be a momentous occasion and ground-breaking look into the vaults of one of the true modern greats. If I was even Chico - the one who wasn't even close to winning an X-Factor competition sometime in the past - it might still be the kind of thing that Metro might share with a controversial headline.

However, as a member of the Cornish (not so) super-group 'The Beutons', this musical spattering of home demos will be of very minor interest to a very small and exclusive group of Cornish people and some of my more polite family members and friends, and to them I offer this intriguing insight into the creative process of an extremely minor musician.

On this collection of irreverent, but cheaply and efficiently produced, music... you will find the original conception and recording of Last Dance With Mary Jane, a little known Beuton song "Zombie", a song where I proudly rhyme 'Karma' with 'Llama', and my longest titled song to date: Don't Let The Door Hit You When You Leave. There are also a couple of other songs that are not likely to be heard or recorded again, Caravan, The Circus and the Blur-esque 'You Got It' along with the title track 'Spot The Difference'.

If you like what you hear, you should download the songs here, or give the EP a little knowing nod and share on your social media. If you do this, it'll help this musician to feel significantly more empowered and inflate my ego to a level that, if I were ever to bump into Chico - perhaps on the streets of London during a visit to a national tourist attraction - I could proudly look into his eyes as an equal and not have to avoid his gaze by casting my eyes to the floor.

Of course, I'll never be able to look Prince in the eyes - in part because he's so damn short and would need a box or some very big shoes.