Some overdue thanks and praise for Billy Corgan...

I recently went to the splendid NOS Alive 2015 festival in Lisbon and was lucky enough to see a fantastic headline set from one of the best rock bands in the world - Muse. Having enjoyed the show so much I lingered around near the backstage access area hoping to get a chance to thank the guys from the band for giving us such a wonderful and inspiring performance...

...After several hours of patiently waiting, I caught a glimpse of Matt Bellamy walking towards the band van. I shouted to him and waved frantically to catch his attention, being such a caring and nice chap, he noticed me and approached cautiously to see what I wanted, he greeted me with a smile.

"I owe everything to Corgan"

"Thanks so much for that concert Matt, it was amazing, I really really enjoyed the show and was so pleased you played all your hit records" I blurted excitedly. Matt's response was truly humbling and opened my eyes to one of the inevitable axioms of ALL music...

"Don't thank us, we owe it all to Billy Corgan. Without him, we'd be nothing, we'd have had no hit singles and wouldn't even have known where to begin or what guitars even were. You should really be thanking Billy." he humbled replied.

A little confused at first, because naturally - like everyone else - I assumed that the Smashing Pumpkins front man was simply a bald-headed moron who had gone insane on the heady smells of moderate antique success, Matt proceeded to tell me the true-story of the world, it's creation and all the wonderful things in it...

Here is a short list of just some of the things we owe to Billy Corgan:

Hit Songs: Without "Disarm" and "Today" there'd be no such thing as modern alternative music.
"I wrote more hits than anybody of my generation, I’m not seen as a songwriter." Billy said, and he's totally right... Can you name even one other band in history who has more than two minor hit singles using guitars? In fact every band since 1955 that has used a guitar really owes a debt to Billy's pioneering spirit and endeavour, turning such an unpopular instrument into a mainstream and iconic symbol of musical freedom. Thank you Billy.

Corgan invented 'meaningful' lyrics

All guitar bands: "I helped launch a bunch of people playing in guitar bands" said Billy, and if you really stop to think about it, he's right... The Beatles, Oasis, Muse, Radiohead and even Kraftwerk, all simply could not have existed without having been spoon-fed Siamese Dream into their ears since birth - in some cases, owing to technological deficiencies of the age, these artists even had to 'imagine' Siamese Dream being piped into their ears up to twenty years before technology was able to make that a reality. Thank you Billy.

Thom Yorke practising a steely Corgan stare

All strings sections:  "I Broke different styles in the alternative pop mainstream with strings, and all sorts of stuff. Don’t get credit for that." - Billy Corgan. Indeed, without trail-blazer Billy, there would be no Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band, No ELO, No Beethoven symphonies and string quartets would all still be singing barbershop acapella songs. Thank you Billy.

A Pre-Corgan String Quartet

Victorian Arts and the Industrial Revolution: Contrary to what the history books may teach us in schools, the technological and artistic progress of humanity made during the Victorian era was actually inspired by Billy Corgan's 1995 music video for "Tonight Tonight"... from the works of Jules Verne to the steam engine and balloon aviation, there'd have been no progress without this slice of sheer inspiration. Thank you Billy.

Moonlight: Contrary to popular belief the moon does not simply reflect the sun but instead shines so bright at night as it reflects the genius radiating from Billy Corgan's shiny bald head. The different phases of the moon are simply based on the moon's position relative to Seattle. If he were ever to put on a hat, we'd all bump into everything at night-time. Thank you Billy.

Thank you for the moonlight

Mugs: Before Billy invented the mug, coffee-drinking was a painful, burning experience as people simply had to pour scalding hot water over their cupped hands whilst holding some beans or a tea-bag. Billy gave us the mug, and all humanity was able to get a caffeine infused hot beverage pick-me-up without a subsequent trip to the burns unit of our local hospitals.  Thank you Billy.

The world's first mug.

Dog leads: The average American family would get through about 30 - 40 dogs a year, which would be lost forever to the wilderness whilst taking them out for "walkies". The entire dog population of the world OWES Billy their lives, as their keen eyed predisposition for running off excitedly and getting lost, could lead to anything from them ending up on the menu at a Chinese Restaurant to being gang raped by Hillbillies with a gag in their mouths. Billy's simple variation on the "noose" and "guide-rope" - pioneered during a period of great personal suffering and suicidal thoughts - has saved dogs from all corners of the world. Thank you Billy - we owe you our lives. 

Dog lead prototype # 1

"Blowing your head off with a shot gun didn't lead to a single dog-saving invention did it Kurt?" - Corgan on Dog Leads.

Spreadable Butter and Enjoyable Toast: Billy Corgan was the first person to devise a spreadable butter for use straight from the fridge. If you enjoy toast you owe that enjoyment to Billy Corgan. 

and finally...

Humility: Considering all that Billy Corgan has done for humanity, and considering the scant praise and adulation we as humans have bestowed on him for his greatness, we should all mostly be grateful to Billy Corgan for demonstrating humility to us all. In spite of the ungracious and sometimes willfully ignorant way we as a 'people' have ignored him, he has never once spoken outwardly in vanity or sought any kind of reward or praise for all the great things he has done for us, he has always behaved with dignity in public and in interviews and he has sustained his sanity throughout all the terrible ordeals we have put him through. 

“I don’t even feel I’ve even come close to getting the credit that I deserve" - Billy Corgan.,

“You show me in this culture where I've ever been celebrated to the breadth of what I've accomplished... it's never happened.” - Billy Corgan
Thank you for everything Billy.

Paul McCartney is unable to teach my child music...

In an interview entirely fabricated to garner pointless publicity; uncredible, local-level musician Trevor Hambidge has revealed that Paul McCartney is quite unable to teach his child how to read and write music notation because Paul McCartney is unable to read or write music notation himself.

Speaking candidly on the subject, he told his uninterested canine companion 'Sasha' that "If I even had a child, I am quite sure I'd have to teach him or her myself how to use music notation - or hire a music teacher to do the job, because I'm sure Sir Paul is both too busy and musically ignorant to do it!"

He continues, "Paul McCartney doesn't even give a shit about my, admittedly fictitious, child and as a result I can only conclude that he is a massive ass-hat and totally unworthy of being one of the most successful musical composers of our age... but even if he did care, he still couldn't, because he can't read music!"

Long-time McCartney fan Hambidge, 35, even alludes to the fact that on his recent EP release 'Adverb Ego Mirth' (available to anyone who cares by clicking here), McCartney, 73, has even tried to leave his already considerable levels of fame and fortune entirely untouched, by NOT appearing on the record in any capacity, and by not even needing to refuse to have anything to with it by association.

"Seeing how he tried to cling on to the shirt tails of shit US rapper/singer Kanye West, 37 (pic above), and that girl with the over-sized forehead, 27, (pic below) in an attempt to tarnish his reputation, I was deeply offended that he made absolutely no attempt whatsoever to plummet towards obscurity by appearing on my latest record." he fumed.

"I've seen all these posts on Twitter and Facebook from young kids saying they all know who Paul McCartney is, and admire him, but not even one of them claims to 'not know' who I am?" he ranted.

It is believed that so few people even know who Hambidge is, that Metro and other such 'click-baiting' media cesspits are unlikely to even try and leverage his unpopularity into a pointless article with a controversial sounding headline that serves absolutely no purpose.
  

Some pictures of me doing what I love...

Here are a couple of pictures of me doing what I love in the comfort of my own home; taken by the wonderful woman I share that home with - Teresa...

Obrigado Amorzinha xxx

An Englishman in Lisbon singing songs to celebrate American Independence...

The ball is now finally starting to roll in my quest to find some regular gigs in Lisbon. An afternoon spent exploring the town centre for likely venues and opportunities bore some slightly unpredictable fruit when I found a rather trendy little "English bar" - The George, on Rua Da Crucifix in Baixa...

Upon walking into the venue and pleasantly finding an opportunity to enjoy some genuine English beer for the first time in six weeks - London Pride on draught (get in!!), I sat down among the complimentary peanuts, union jacks, London tube signs and other homely decor to wait to speak to someone of authority in order to hassle (politely) for a gig. 

A rather important looking chappie in a tidy suit, making what seemed like a never ending phone call, looked a likely candidate, and upon noticing his concentration would only break for a fleeting second to glare menacingly at the Portuguese girls on the bar, I concluded this must be one of the managers, or perhaps even the owner. 

Indeed, after merely two half-pints of the lovely London Pride (forgive-ably chilled on such a hot day), his phone call ended and I was able to confirm that he was indeed a man of appropriate authority and I launched into my sales pitch...

...He must've had a cancellation or something, because within a minute he had opened his events diary and was booking me in - in flawless English - for next coming Saturday, which happened to be July 4th, and completely in-line with what you'd expect from an 'English' pub, I had agree to do a two hour set in celebration of Independence Day! Oh, the irony...    

To save my sanity, national pride and considerable set-list constraints, I managed to re-brand this "American" theme into a musical recreation of the War of Independence (at least giving us Brits a fair chance of a different outcome) and offered to pitch the best of theirs vs. the best of ours on the musical battlefield. And so here it is, my latest Lisbon gig, along with the accompanying promotional blurb...

"Two musical national powerhouses, who have provided the world with some of the greatest songs of all time, go head to head to re-draw the world's musical map.

To celebrate the anniversary of Independence Day, Trevor Hambidge Music will be pitching classic songs from classic artists on either side of the Atlantic against each other in a 2 hour musical battle...

Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan, Nirvana, Green Day and more will be hoping to tread on the faces of such noble, plucky British musical upstarts as The Beatles, Arctic Monkey, The Kinks, Oasis and other imperial pretenders...

Which side are you on?

The battle commences at 21:30 at The George Pub, Lisbon... be sure to be there!"

It's good what you can do with a little positive spin...

Lisbon's first taste of me...

Am very proud, and a tiny bit smug, to announce my first gig (concerto for the locals) in Lisbon at the fantastically generous 'Primeiro Andar' venue. Am being paid for the privilege too with a hearty meal for me and my lovely lady, lashings of wine and a big hat with which to pass around the audience to collect any forth-coming financial gratitude.

Having sent out a zillion emails to bars and venues in the Lisbon area before coming to Portugal, I can confirm that this is not the most effective method of soliciting music work, but given I was still in England - trying to get ahead of the game - I was well made up that the owners - Liliana and Teresa - were the solitary venue prepared to take a chance on an "estrangeiro", based on nothing more than an optimistic email with some music links.

For any English artists wishing to come to Lisbon and play a gig - something I do fully recommend - this is a great place to start. The venue is forward thinking and prepared to take a chance on new music and the uber-relaxed surroundings make for the perfect introductory concert in Lisbon. They serve some quite excellent food - much of it vegetarian and vegan friendly, and once the live music is over (around 11pm) they continue into the early hours with a lively DJ. Whilst the venue is not huge, it is spacious, conveniently located and has a bustling regular clientele, who I am hoping will receive me as kindly as I've been told I should expect they will.

Obrigado to the guys here for giving me a first break in Lisbon, and let's hope it's the first of many ...

Adverb Ego Mirth Release

Whilst studying for my degree in Commerical Music Performance and Production, I have been regularly sneaking into the college recording studio to lay down tracks for my 'homework' and what has become my first 'proper' solo EP. After many overdubs and remixes I am finally able to release this work to the world, and here it is.

It is called Adverb Ego Mirth - a rather meaningless jumble of the letters that spell my name - and I have 'released' it in the manner of our times on my own little record label 'Less Economically Developed Music' - a far more accurately named entity reflecting my own limited resources. The EP is available to download from my own site, iTunes, Spotify and other such digital mediums. If anyone prefers an actual CD then you can buy one from my bandcamp page.

It is the product of much love and my own inimitable do-it-yourself style of music production with an emphasis on 'vibe' and other such meaningless tangibles. The four songs are from my more recent repertoire of live tracks - given a little touch up and arranged in a way that I am unable to do live without the help of some extra musicians.

Submarine - Mischief - Shadow Boxing - Home

Many thanks to those who have collaborated with me on these tracks to give it a little contrast and humanity: Amy Leggett who plays piano and keys and sings some harmonies, and also Bethany-Siobahn who provided some extra harmony vocals also...

The final icing on the cake comes by way of Cornish artist Ann Boo Whetter, who provided the striking artwork which is so important as the first bite is always with the eye. You can see more of Anne's unique work here.

I must also thank John Russell and Andy Cunningham, from Truro College, who supplied me with extra ears with which to mix and balance all the tracks into a listenable medium.

Please give the EP a listen, and if you like it do please share it amongst your friends on social media as this really does help me to reach new listeners. This music is created on starvation wages so these little gestures of love really do go a long way to claw back some finance from the grip of Apple and the others who largely consider the efforts of musicians to be a worthless commodity.

Love to all, and thanks for listening.

A heart warming seasonal story...

Many days and weeks ago, in the small Cornish coastal paradise of Porthtowan, myself and a few friends gathered together at the Unicorn public house to play some music to the demoralised local populace. Living in such a remote location as Porthtowan - where the damaging effects of the 1970's cod wars are still strongly felt - many people in the village hadn't heard live music in up to three or four days and their appetites were salacious. Hoards had gathered to welcome us to the Unicorn - itself named after a rarely seen beast - and much merriment and happiness ensued for all. It was a glorious night. Why I left the venue later that evening thinking ..."If only someone had taken a live audio recording of our musical antics tonight"...

Imagine my surprise, many days and weeks later to discover that someone had indeed taken an audio recording (warts and all) of many of the songs played that fateful night in Porthtowan. So here gathered together for the first and no doubt only time is that collection of songs. It's called Unicornicopia, and you can listen and download it entirely for free here and take a feint whiff of the magical atmosphere that was created that night...

Fuck you Chico time...

Over the past few years I have accumulated a modest little collection of home recordings of songs that I have written to alleviate the overwhelming feelings of under-achievement that I have to live with daily. If I was Prince, this would be a momentous occasion and ground-breaking look into the vaults of one of the true modern greats. If I was even Chico - the one who wasn't even close to winning an X-Factor competition sometime in the past - it might still be the kind of thing that Metro might share with a controversial headline.

However, as a member of the Cornish (not so) super-group 'The Beutons', this musical spattering of home demos will be of very minor interest to a very small and exclusive group of Cornish people and some of my more polite family members and friends, and to them I offer this intriguing insight into the creative process of an extremely minor musician.

On this collection of irreverent, but cheaply and efficiently produced, music... you will find the original conception and recording of Last Dance With Mary Jane, a little known Beuton song "Zombie", a song where I proudly rhyme 'Karma' with 'Llama', and my longest titled song to date: Don't Let The Door Hit You When You Leave. There are also a couple of other songs that are not likely to be heard or recorded again, Caravan, The Circus and the Blur-esque 'You Got It' along with the title track 'Spot The Difference'.

If you like what you hear, you should download the songs here, or give the EP a little knowing nod and share on your social media. If you do this, it'll help this musician to feel significantly more empowered and inflate my ego to a level that, if I were ever to bump into Chico - perhaps on the streets of London during a visit to a national tourist attraction - I could proudly look into his eyes as an equal and not have to avoid his gaze by casting my eyes to the floor.

Of course, I'll never be able to look Prince in the eyes - in part because he's so damn short and would need a box or some very big shoes.

It’s LAUNCH DAY!

Today’s the day, tonight’s the night and tomorrow we’ll all still have to get up and go to work as usual. It’s launch day for our EP “I Wasn’t Asked And I Don’t Want It” and we have our big launch gig tonight at B-Side, Bunters in Truro.

Far from catapulting copies of our CD directly into the Cornish skies, what our ‘launch’ actually means is you can now access our CD and music just like you would for any of them flash, spangly bands that you see on the telly.

BUY – You can download the EP, or individual tracks, from iTunes, Amazon and many other online music retailers. A reasonable chunk of the money will come directly back to us.

BUY (and actually be able to touch) – You can get your hands on one of the very limited edition 500 CDs directly from us via our bandcamp page. We won’t be making any more of these AND there is ‘deliberate’ error on the sleeve for the more eagle-eyed of you to spot which will no doubt add trillions of pounds of value to these CD’s one day in the future when mankind are but mere slaves to giant mechanically enhanced space bio-monkey warriors and rare Beuton CD’s could fetch a small fortune when you are having them coldly scanned on dross future BBC bore fest ‘Antiques Roadshow 2100AD’. Just a thought.

We’ll also have even more limited edition t-shirts for ladies and gentlemen of style and substance. These t-shirts were made ethically using only the drunkly-bellowed Glaswegian threats of our guitarist Dan whilst in Bali… definitely not at a sweatshop. All the money from bandcamp goes directly to the band with only paypal getting their customary nibble at it.

STREAM – You can stream our music – for which we will eventually receive a small royalty payment!! – on sites such as Spotify, Lastfm and my personal favourite Deezer…just search for ‘Beutons’ You should also be able to find us on those clever online search jukeboxes in the pub.

Below are a couple of picture that Paige Gibson took during our last rehearsal, on the eve of our EP launch we finally have a picture with all of us in eh Darren!

 

We managed to put a couple of brand new tracks into the set for tonight and we’re excited to be back on stage again after a rather loooong break. Don’t forget to get there early to get your hands on a FREE EP and also to see our rather dazzling array of wonderful music opening the show for us.

Charlie Carroll and Tom Gall are absolutely cracking local acts and well worth a listen, like, download, share scenario or whatever goes on these days. You can hear them here…

Charlie Carroll – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0zhuVL76sU

Tom Gall – https://soundcloud.com/tom-gall/time

See you soon.

A slice of Beuton pie. #1

Hello chumbalinas,

We’re very excited to announce that our new EP will be unsheathed and set free on March 1st. It’ll be available on a limited edition CD (available now to pre-order via our website) and as a digital download via iTunes, Amazon and streaming services such as Spotify, Deezer and Last.fm the like. One will even be able to put us on in the pub (providing they have one of them fancy internet search jukeboxes) if one so desires!

We spent a rather sleepy, but delightful and productive few days in December recording the tracks with top producer John Cornfield, who’s worked with Oasis, Muse, Supergrass, Razorlight and many other top bands. John’s really captured our live sound and we’re all dead chuffed with it (even Dan). As you can see from this photo, we had a relaxing and peaceful time in the studio.

The EP is called “I Wasn’t Asked and I Don’t Want It” and contains four-tracks what we wrote ourselves. Here is the cover artwork painstakingly drawn into her etch-a-sketch by our friend Paige Gibson…

With the recording out of the way, Daniel jetted off to Bali to source some ‘sweatshop cheap’ t-shirts and mingle with the local wildlife, leaving the rest of us to book a shed load of gigs, decipher copyright law, uncover distribution options, annoy everyone with spam and fix the van. Big dollops of sincerest thanks to all who’ve helped us create and promote this EP by playing it on their podcasts and radio stations, sharing the shit out of it on social networks and agreeing to come play gigs with us!



Dan returns to Cornwall this weekend – just in time to start intensive rehearsals for the EP Launch gig at B-Side@Bunters on Friday 1st March. As a thank you to everyone who’s supported us this past year or so we’re giving the first 50 people who turn up a free copy of the new EP on CD. If that’s not reason enough to be there early, we’ve lined up a fantastic bill of local musicians (we like having someone to watch too!) with Charlie Carroll and his killer looping talents, and then Tom Gall and his band and his amazing songs.

That’s enough for now, we’ll be back soon with news of our “Up The Wrexham” tour in April amongst other, no doubt irreverent, things.

The Beutons xx