Some overdue thanks and praise for Billy Corgan...

I recently went to the splendid NOS Alive 2015 festival in Lisbon and was lucky enough to see a fantastic headline set from one of the best rock bands in the world - Muse. Having enjoyed the show so much I lingered around near the backstage access area hoping to get a chance to thank the guys from the band for giving us such a wonderful and inspiring performance...

...After several hours of patiently waiting, I caught a glimpse of Matt Bellamy walking towards the band van. I shouted to him and waved frantically to catch his attention, being such a caring and nice chap, he noticed me and approached cautiously to see what I wanted, he greeted me with a smile.

"I owe everything to Corgan"

"Thanks so much for that concert Matt, it was amazing, I really really enjoyed the show and was so pleased you played all your hit records" I blurted excitedly. Matt's response was truly humbling and opened my eyes to one of the inevitable axioms of ALL music...

"Don't thank us, we owe it all to Billy Corgan. Without him, we'd be nothing, we'd have had no hit singles and wouldn't even have known where to begin or what guitars even were. You should really be thanking Billy." he humbled replied.

A little confused at first, because naturally - like everyone else - I assumed that the Smashing Pumpkins front man was simply a bald-headed moron who had gone insane on the heady smells of moderate antique success, Matt proceeded to tell me the true-story of the world, it's creation and all the wonderful things in it...

Here is a short list of just some of the things we owe to Billy Corgan:

Hit Songs: Without "Disarm" and "Today" there'd be no such thing as modern alternative music.
"I wrote more hits than anybody of my generation, I’m not seen as a songwriter." Billy said, and he's totally right... Can you name even one other band in history who has more than two minor hit singles using guitars? In fact every band since 1955 that has used a guitar really owes a debt to Billy's pioneering spirit and endeavour, turning such an unpopular instrument into a mainstream and iconic symbol of musical freedom. Thank you Billy.

Corgan invented 'meaningful' lyrics

All guitar bands: "I helped launch a bunch of people playing in guitar bands" said Billy, and if you really stop to think about it, he's right... The Beatles, Oasis, Muse, Radiohead and even Kraftwerk, all simply could not have existed without having been spoon-fed Siamese Dream into their ears since birth - in some cases, owing to technological deficiencies of the age, these artists even had to 'imagine' Siamese Dream being piped into their ears up to twenty years before technology was able to make that a reality. Thank you Billy.

Thom Yorke practising a steely Corgan stare

All strings sections:  "I Broke different styles in the alternative pop mainstream with strings, and all sorts of stuff. Don’t get credit for that." - Billy Corgan. Indeed, without trail-blazer Billy, there would be no Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band, No ELO, No Beethoven symphonies and string quartets would all still be singing barbershop acapella songs. Thank you Billy.

A Pre-Corgan String Quartet

Victorian Arts and the Industrial Revolution: Contrary to what the history books may teach us in schools, the technological and artistic progress of humanity made during the Victorian era was actually inspired by Billy Corgan's 1995 music video for "Tonight Tonight"... from the works of Jules Verne to the steam engine and balloon aviation, there'd have been no progress without this slice of sheer inspiration. Thank you Billy.

Moonlight: Contrary to popular belief the moon does not simply reflect the sun but instead shines so bright at night as it reflects the genius radiating from Billy Corgan's shiny bald head. The different phases of the moon are simply based on the moon's position relative to Seattle. If he were ever to put on a hat, we'd all bump into everything at night-time. Thank you Billy.

Thank you for the moonlight

Mugs: Before Billy invented the mug, coffee-drinking was a painful, burning experience as people simply had to pour scalding hot water over their cupped hands whilst holding some beans or a tea-bag. Billy gave us the mug, and all humanity was able to get a caffeine infused hot beverage pick-me-up without a subsequent trip to the burns unit of our local hospitals.  Thank you Billy.

The world's first mug.

Dog leads: The average American family would get through about 30 - 40 dogs a year, which would be lost forever to the wilderness whilst taking them out for "walkies". The entire dog population of the world OWES Billy their lives, as their keen eyed predisposition for running off excitedly and getting lost, could lead to anything from them ending up on the menu at a Chinese Restaurant to being gang raped by Hillbillies with a gag in their mouths. Billy's simple variation on the "noose" and "guide-rope" - pioneered during a period of great personal suffering and suicidal thoughts - has saved dogs from all corners of the world. Thank you Billy - we owe you our lives. 

Dog lead prototype # 1

"Blowing your head off with a shot gun didn't lead to a single dog-saving invention did it Kurt?" - Corgan on Dog Leads.

Spreadable Butter and Enjoyable Toast: Billy Corgan was the first person to devise a spreadable butter for use straight from the fridge. If you enjoy toast you owe that enjoyment to Billy Corgan. 

and finally...

Humility: Considering all that Billy Corgan has done for humanity, and considering the scant praise and adulation we as humans have bestowed on him for his greatness, we should all mostly be grateful to Billy Corgan for demonstrating humility to us all. In spite of the ungracious and sometimes willfully ignorant way we as a 'people' have ignored him, he has never once spoken outwardly in vanity or sought any kind of reward or praise for all the great things he has done for us, he has always behaved with dignity in public and in interviews and he has sustained his sanity throughout all the terrible ordeals we have put him through. 

“I don’t even feel I’ve even come close to getting the credit that I deserve" - Billy Corgan.,

“You show me in this culture where I've ever been celebrated to the breadth of what I've accomplished... it's never happened.” - Billy Corgan
Thank you for everything Billy.