Some overdue thanks and praise for Billy Corgan...

I recently went to the splendid NOS Alive 2015 festival in Lisbon and was lucky enough to see a fantastic headline set from one of the best rock bands in the world - Muse. Having enjoyed the show so much I lingered around near the backstage access area hoping to get a chance to thank the guys from the band for giving us such a wonderful and inspiring performance...

...After several hours of patiently waiting, I caught a glimpse of Matt Bellamy walking towards the band van. I shouted to him and waved frantically to catch his attention, being such a caring and nice chap, he noticed me and approached cautiously to see what I wanted, he greeted me with a smile.

"I owe everything to Corgan"

"Thanks so much for that concert Matt, it was amazing, I really really enjoyed the show and was so pleased you played all your hit records" I blurted excitedly. Matt's response was truly humbling and opened my eyes to one of the inevitable axioms of ALL music...

"Don't thank us, we owe it all to Billy Corgan. Without him, we'd be nothing, we'd have had no hit singles and wouldn't even have known where to begin or what guitars even were. You should really be thanking Billy." he humbled replied.

A little confused at first, because naturally - like everyone else - I assumed that the Smashing Pumpkins front man was simply a bald-headed moron who had gone insane on the heady smells of moderate antique success, Matt proceeded to tell me the true-story of the world, it's creation and all the wonderful things in it...

Here is a short list of just some of the things we owe to Billy Corgan:

Hit Songs: Without "Disarm" and "Today" there'd be no such thing as modern alternative music.
"I wrote more hits than anybody of my generation, I’m not seen as a songwriter." Billy said, and he's totally right... Can you name even one other band in history who has more than two minor hit singles using guitars? In fact every band since 1955 that has used a guitar really owes a debt to Billy's pioneering spirit and endeavour, turning such an unpopular instrument into a mainstream and iconic symbol of musical freedom. Thank you Billy.

Corgan invented 'meaningful' lyrics

All guitar bands: "I helped launch a bunch of people playing in guitar bands" said Billy, and if you really stop to think about it, he's right... The Beatles, Oasis, Muse, Radiohead and even Kraftwerk, all simply could not have existed without having been spoon-fed Siamese Dream into their ears since birth - in some cases, owing to technological deficiencies of the age, these artists even had to 'imagine' Siamese Dream being piped into their ears up to twenty years before technology was able to make that a reality. Thank you Billy.

Thom Yorke practising a steely Corgan stare

All strings sections:  "I Broke different styles in the alternative pop mainstream with strings, and all sorts of stuff. Don’t get credit for that." - Billy Corgan. Indeed, without trail-blazer Billy, there would be no Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band, No ELO, No Beethoven symphonies and string quartets would all still be singing barbershop acapella songs. Thank you Billy.

A Pre-Corgan String Quartet

Victorian Arts and the Industrial Revolution: Contrary to what the history books may teach us in schools, the technological and artistic progress of humanity made during the Victorian era was actually inspired by Billy Corgan's 1995 music video for "Tonight Tonight"... from the works of Jules Verne to the steam engine and balloon aviation, there'd have been no progress without this slice of sheer inspiration. Thank you Billy.

Moonlight: Contrary to popular belief the moon does not simply reflect the sun but instead shines so bright at night as it reflects the genius radiating from Billy Corgan's shiny bald head. The different phases of the moon are simply based on the moon's position relative to Seattle. If he were ever to put on a hat, we'd all bump into everything at night-time. Thank you Billy.

Thank you for the moonlight

Mugs: Before Billy invented the mug, coffee-drinking was a painful, burning experience as people simply had to pour scalding hot water over their cupped hands whilst holding some beans or a tea-bag. Billy gave us the mug, and all humanity was able to get a caffeine infused hot beverage pick-me-up without a subsequent trip to the burns unit of our local hospitals.  Thank you Billy.

The world's first mug.

Dog leads: The average American family would get through about 30 - 40 dogs a year, which would be lost forever to the wilderness whilst taking them out for "walkies". The entire dog population of the world OWES Billy their lives, as their keen eyed predisposition for running off excitedly and getting lost, could lead to anything from them ending up on the menu at a Chinese Restaurant to being gang raped by Hillbillies with a gag in their mouths. Billy's simple variation on the "noose" and "guide-rope" - pioneered during a period of great personal suffering and suicidal thoughts - has saved dogs from all corners of the world. Thank you Billy - we owe you our lives. 

Dog lead prototype # 1

"Blowing your head off with a shot gun didn't lead to a single dog-saving invention did it Kurt?" - Corgan on Dog Leads.

Spreadable Butter and Enjoyable Toast: Billy Corgan was the first person to devise a spreadable butter for use straight from the fridge. If you enjoy toast you owe that enjoyment to Billy Corgan. 

and finally...

Humility: Considering all that Billy Corgan has done for humanity, and considering the scant praise and adulation we as humans have bestowed on him for his greatness, we should all mostly be grateful to Billy Corgan for demonstrating humility to us all. In spite of the ungracious and sometimes willfully ignorant way we as a 'people' have ignored him, he has never once spoken outwardly in vanity or sought any kind of reward or praise for all the great things he has done for us, he has always behaved with dignity in public and in interviews and he has sustained his sanity throughout all the terrible ordeals we have put him through. 

“I don’t even feel I’ve even come close to getting the credit that I deserve" - Billy Corgan.,

“You show me in this culture where I've ever been celebrated to the breadth of what I've accomplished... it's never happened.” - Billy Corgan
Thank you for everything Billy.

Paul McCartney is unable to teach my child music...

In an interview entirely fabricated to garner pointless publicity; uncredible, local-level musician Trevor Hambidge has revealed that Paul McCartney is quite unable to teach his child how to read and write music notation because Paul McCartney is unable to read or write music notation himself.

Speaking candidly on the subject, he told his uninterested canine companion 'Sasha' that "If I even had a child, I am quite sure I'd have to teach him or her myself how to use music notation - or hire a music teacher to do the job, because I'm sure Sir Paul is both too busy and musically ignorant to do it!"

He continues, "Paul McCartney doesn't even give a shit about my, admittedly fictitious, child and as a result I can only conclude that he is a massive ass-hat and totally unworthy of being one of the most successful musical composers of our age... but even if he did care, he still couldn't, because he can't read music!"

Long-time McCartney fan Hambidge, 35, even alludes to the fact that on his recent EP release 'Adverb Ego Mirth' (available to anyone who cares by clicking here), McCartney, 73, has even tried to leave his already considerable levels of fame and fortune entirely untouched, by NOT appearing on the record in any capacity, and by not even needing to refuse to have anything to with it by association.

"Seeing how he tried to cling on to the shirt tails of shit US rapper/singer Kanye West, 37 (pic above), and that girl with the over-sized forehead, 27, (pic below) in an attempt to tarnish his reputation, I was deeply offended that he made absolutely no attempt whatsoever to plummet towards obscurity by appearing on my latest record." he fumed.

"I've seen all these posts on Twitter and Facebook from young kids saying they all know who Paul McCartney is, and admire him, but not even one of them claims to 'not know' who I am?" he ranted.

It is believed that so few people even know who Hambidge is, that Metro and other such 'click-baiting' media cesspits are unlikely to even try and leverage his unpopularity into a pointless article with a controversial sounding headline that serves absolutely no purpose.
  

Some pictures of me doing what I love...

Here are a couple of pictures of me doing what I love in the comfort of my own home; taken by the wonderful woman I share that home with - Teresa...

Obrigado Amorzinha xxx

Just how shit is British pub culture for live music?

It's been around six weeks since I've planted my once-nomadic musical roots firmly down in the warm and sun soaked soils of Lisbon. Still very much a learner of the language and culture, and in spite of being weighed down by the gastronomical demands of endless plates of grilled sardines and cod fish, I have been busy making some inroads to this new musical scene.

The Portuguese have a very different attitude to live music to that which I have previously experienced in the UK; in many ways this can be attributed to the culture and the weather - which allows warm lazy evenings to unwind slowly into the early hours of the morning - something the British climate outright denies us. Here the live music events often don't even begin till eleven in the evening and run on till the early hours, but the most note-worthy difference is the attitude of the audiences, who seems to receive live music with an unbridled enthusiasm and outright lack of cynicism so often seen in the British pubs.

Here in Lisbon the venues are often filled with seated punters, who've all come to the bar specifically to see live music, and have often paid to do so with many bars employing a minimum spend-per-head policy. Their attention is often firmly focused on the performance and musicians and all songs are greeted with a sincere, heartfelt gratitude and applause (regardless of the standard sometimes) and by the end of the concert most will be on their feet dancing and singing along enthusiastically.

I can't help but feel Britain could have much to learn about the way live music events are run here, but also can't help but worry that the ingrained pub-culture and natural cynicism of home may prove to be a barrier to this kind of free, easy and sociable fun that surrounds live music here. It may take a generation at least to change some British attitudes, where often even the best local musicians are treated as a "nuisance" by the pub-goers, and in many cases the fact there is paid live music at all almost feels like a kind of "charity" from the landlords - who often see the effect that live music actually drives their regulars away and there till takes downwards.

Trying to put a finger on the reasons for this seems difficult, but is it a case that many Brits are unable to truly see the value of and embrace something unless it has been given a thorough endorsement from an entire peer group, various media outlets and slapped with an expensive price tag? For example in late 2013 I recall going to see an unknown George Ezra in Truro playing to an almost empty venue on a shared bill with local musicians for free. He was superb. It was a well promoted show locally and George was already gaining a good reputation as a star of tomorrow... It meant nothing ultimately. Fast forward two years and George returned to Truro - this time at the much larger Hall For Cornwall venue - along with an expensive ticket price; of course it was a sell-out...

There are quality musicians and live performers playing around you every night of the week. Some of them could be the stars of tomorrow and you can go see them - often doing the exact same act - entirely for free just by opening your eyes and lowering your preconceptions. As I've seen here in Lisbon these local performances are to be treasured and can do so much to raise the standard of life in the community - how can a quiet night in the pub getting drunk really offer a viable alternative? It isn't money or cost - because most live music events are free or have entry prices that are less than a cup of coffee, let alone an alcoholic drink. For Christ-sakes, go and enjoy yourselves.

An Englishman in Lisbon singing songs to celebrate American Independence...

The ball is now finally starting to roll in my quest to find some regular gigs in Lisbon. An afternoon spent exploring the town centre for likely venues and opportunities bore some slightly unpredictable fruit when I found a rather trendy little "English bar" - The George, on Rua Da Crucifix in Baixa...

Upon walking into the venue and pleasantly finding an opportunity to enjoy some genuine English beer for the first time in six weeks - London Pride on draught (get in!!), I sat down among the complimentary peanuts, union jacks, London tube signs and other homely decor to wait to speak to someone of authority in order to hassle (politely) for a gig. 

A rather important looking chappie in a tidy suit, making what seemed like a never ending phone call, looked a likely candidate, and upon noticing his concentration would only break for a fleeting second to glare menacingly at the Portuguese girls on the bar, I concluded this must be one of the managers, or perhaps even the owner. 

Indeed, after merely two half-pints of the lovely London Pride (forgive-ably chilled on such a hot day), his phone call ended and I was able to confirm that he was indeed a man of appropriate authority and I launched into my sales pitch...

...He must've had a cancellation or something, because within a minute he had opened his events diary and was booking me in - in flawless English - for next coming Saturday, which happened to be July 4th, and completely in-line with what you'd expect from an 'English' pub, I had agree to do a two hour set in celebration of Independence Day! Oh, the irony...    

To save my sanity, national pride and considerable set-list constraints, I managed to re-brand this "American" theme into a musical recreation of the War of Independence (at least giving us Brits a fair chance of a different outcome) and offered to pitch the best of theirs vs. the best of ours on the musical battlefield. And so here it is, my latest Lisbon gig, along with the accompanying promotional blurb...

"Two musical national powerhouses, who have provided the world with some of the greatest songs of all time, go head to head to re-draw the world's musical map.

To celebrate the anniversary of Independence Day, Trevor Hambidge Music will be pitching classic songs from classic artists on either side of the Atlantic against each other in a 2 hour musical battle...

Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan, Nirvana, Green Day and more will be hoping to tread on the faces of such noble, plucky British musical upstarts as The Beatles, Arctic Monkey, The Kinks, Oasis and other imperial pretenders...

Which side are you on?

The battle commences at 21:30 at The George Pub, Lisbon... be sure to be there!"

It's good what you can do with a little positive spin...

From England with Love...

Ahead of my first Portuguese gig next week at Primeiro Andar, I have just had to conduct my first Portuguese interview to promote the concert. This promised to be a fun happening as my two interviewers could understand 'the gist' of what is being said in English, whilst not being able to speak it well, and likewise I could understand 'the gist' of their questions in Portuguese, whilst not being able to answer in the local tongue. Therefore it was a bit like a Chinese Whispers interview conducted at a children's party.

After some difficulty finding the venue and avoiding an unsavory local - having to ask someone and being promptly identified as English by one of  Lisbon's keen-eared cocaine dealers, who proceeded to give me his relentless full sales pitch and wasn't keen on believing I had only three euros in my pocket - I managed to seat myself in the back room of the small but cosily decorated venue, under the watchful eye of the scissor-bespectacled gentleman pictured below, to begin deciphering the questions.

The venue had the feel of an old English antique shop, with slightly broken old arm chairs that looked like they had been borrowed (or stolen) from Grandma's house nestling among wonky legged tables and floor standing lamps and the numerous, and obligatory in Portugal, Rooster ornaments.

The venue is clearly the home of some of the more bohemian elements of Lisbon society and the mostly handwritten posters on the wall tell of many 'uber-cool' underground nights that have been hosted here alongside pro-cycling propaganda, vegan menus and quirky English slogans such as "Home Sweet Home".    

So that's exactly how I felt as I began to tell my interviewers the story of my musical career so far and what they could expect me to sound like at my concert - piano lessons at 10, I like the Beatles a lot blah blah blah, whilst hoping that the short hand notes that were being taken would tell a story at least approximating to what I was saying.

After resolving the interview, I exchanged contact information with my interviewers so they could link to my music and put an appropriate photograph in the blog, had a good look at the PA system I'd be using the following week and headed for rendez-vous with my lift home... everyone seemed happy enough and contented. It is not a very common thing in England to be interviewed as part of the promotion for such a tiny gig and I couldn't help but feel impressed once again by the efforts and attitudes toward live local music in Lisbon.

I had a little smile and a positive thought that when I returned to Primeiro Andar next week for the concert, I'd be playing to a very small, but hopefully very well attended little room of happy and contented Lisbonese bohemians - and at least would be enjoying a plate of nourishing vegetarian food :)

You can read the blog/interview here... It's in Portuguese, but if you 'right-click-translate' you should be able to recognise me from what's written. Thank you very much Ana and Manuela for the kind words and excellent translation skills.

Lisbon's first taste of me...

Am very proud, and a tiny bit smug, to announce my first gig (concerto for the locals) in Lisbon at the fantastically generous 'Primeiro Andar' venue. Am being paid for the privilege too with a hearty meal for me and my lovely lady, lashings of wine and a big hat with which to pass around the audience to collect any forth-coming financial gratitude.

Having sent out a zillion emails to bars and venues in the Lisbon area before coming to Portugal, I can confirm that this is not the most effective method of soliciting music work, but given I was still in England - trying to get ahead of the game - I was well made up that the owners - Liliana and Teresa - were the solitary venue prepared to take a chance on an "estrangeiro", based on nothing more than an optimistic email with some music links.

For any English artists wishing to come to Lisbon and play a gig - something I do fully recommend - this is a great place to start. The venue is forward thinking and prepared to take a chance on new music and the uber-relaxed surroundings make for the perfect introductory concert in Lisbon. They serve some quite excellent food - much of it vegetarian and vegan friendly, and once the live music is over (around 11pm) they continue into the early hours with a lively DJ. Whilst the venue is not huge, it is spacious, conveniently located and has a bustling regular clientele, who I am hoping will receive me as kindly as I've been told I should expect they will.

Obrigado to the guys here for giving me a first break in Lisbon, and let's hope it's the first of many ...